![]() It is well known among pastors that many members want only the pastor to call on them when they are in need of pastoral care. It will probably mean forming some new groups to give explicit attention to learning through family-related ministries. It will probably require thinking about different objectives for existing groups. It does require an evaluation of the extent to which present activities contribute to positive spiritual formation for all age groups in the church. The provision of a context in which people can come to appreciate the Lordship of Jesus Christ does not require a major reorganization of a congregation. When this does not or cannot happen, the body is bound to be disjointed, even spiritually deformed.Ĭhristian spiritual formation optimally involves lifelong participation in a Christian fellowship where members can learn and practice faithful response to God. Every Christian is called to do some of the work of the church. Pastors who best fulfill congregational desires for a family chaplain will be least able to grow spiritually through participation in their own families. In congregations where one pastor is responsible for preaching, worship, family-related rituals, all pastoral care, and administration, that pastor is doing a disproportionate amount of the work of the church. A church program with Victorian origins and objectives has little relevance to lives lived in the late-twentieth century. ![]() ![]() The idolatries of "the family pew" are quietly killing the spirit of Christian faith. Pastoral Care as the Ministry of All Christians If members are to learn faithful living from one another, they have to know and trust others enough to confide in one another. It is a travesty of the nature of the church if the programs of a congregation encourage members to pretend that their family has no trouble or tensions. ![]() When normal life events like teen-parent alienation, marital stress, mid-life crises, and decisions about elderly parents are hidden behind superficial relationships in a congregation, conversations that will encourage families to minister to one another are not likely to happen. Ironically, a "fellowship hall" presumably intended for mixed gatherings is often a room so large and barren that it discourages fellowship altogether. Most gatherings are planned for people who are alike in age and marital status. The design of such a church building will influence program planning. There is usually no place for family groups to learn together and often no place for the men of the congregation. Many churches look that way, with rooms for children, teens, the choir, and a ladies’ parlor. In a middle-class Victorian home, each age group had its own room or wing of the house. A life transition is a time when people are unusually vulnerable, a time when they can learn to see and trust the power of God’s grace in their lives in some new way. Opportunities for deepening faith are lost if members can not bring the joys, tragedies, and ethical ambiguities of family life into their church life. Yet, many congregations, these issues are treated as private or peripheral to the life of faith. Good relationships with parents, children, siblings, or life partners are of great importance to most church members. Each member will respond to change in a different way, but the balance of relationships in the "family" will be disturbed. A life transition like a family move, marriage or divorce, or any event that seems like a "new life" is a time when growth can occur, but it can also be a time of regression. Events at work or school, children leaving home, new interests of one family member, or any change in social relationships will affect family relationships. When people live together, all are affected by change in the life of one member. Confronting the Idolatry of Family: A New Vision for the Household of Godīy Janet Fishburn Chapter 8: Spiritual Formation Through Family Ministries
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